crow dream (time)

I’m no holiday
“Guilty Party,” The National


he dreamed of

an aging crow not quite yet old
with two much younger sparrows
one younger still than the other

in this crow dream for the first time
the two much younger sparrows met
sharing life with the crow in different times

the aging crow not quite yet old
felt his earlier and later lives draw him
to spill his guts and bare his soul:

“i used time badly once
and by ‘once’ i mean
all the time, all the time

“i have no fucking idea
how i got here now
in the meaty part of middle age

“and mostly unbelievably fortunate
despite all the weight of obligation
and the unpredictable expected

“i hope you are well [to the older sparrow]
and i am glad you have met each other
so that i can say to you together

“i wish i had been better always
because i realize the emptiness of good intentions
that cannot warm a body sleeping alone”

the aging crow not quite yet old
said nothing further as he felt time
[even in a crow dream] left him regretting


he woke from the dream

disoriented as dreaming often left him
unable to distinguish birds chirping outside
from a human voice saying “love, love, love”

haunted throughout the day by the crow dream
he believed in his clenched fist across his palm
he had a tattoo like her handwriting that read

i would tell you
in all the languages
how much i ache for you

setting aside his lingering sense of impending doom
the fear that soon a hurricane would make landfall
and strip him of everything he had ever loved

if he could take the time he would learn to fly
and until he could no longer flap his wings
he would fly with her forever if she desired

—P.L. Thomas